Five Truths for a Life of Freedom and Peace

I was spending time with my second grandchild. He is three years old. He was playing with his Christmas gifts, a bunch of Spiderman stuff. He loves Spiderman. I am filled with joy and happiness watching him play; he is unaware of the rest of the world. At this age, you are not aware of the world. That is the beautiful aspect of being this age. I hate that I've only recently felt this freedom to be playful and truly present in my own life.

My life has always lacked a bit of joy due to several issues out of my control. Reading my spiritual books, specifically, There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem by Wayne Dyer, and meditating, I now see that all of my issues are more about how I perceived my life and its issues rather than these problems being real concerns. Today, I walk through my world with renewed freedom. I thought about five things I wished I had known many years ago.

1. Things happen for a reason and generally to help you evolve into a better you. Life happens, right? Most days, life seems to happen so unexpectedly. But, generally speaking, life really is not that random. When you are present, you see the small things building in your life before the big event actually happens. The resulting pain from these events can be overwhelming, so it becomes difficult to see this pain is for your betterment.

2. My joy generally is my choice. I allowed others to steal my joy. Whenever something terrible would happen, I would ultimately become depressed. For example, I was in a significant relationship with a woman, and she broke the relationship off. I was so hurt. I was really into her. Aside from the breakup, I was equally hurt because I had convinced myself that I was not loveable. Who would love me? One day, I realized that the universe moved her out of my life so someone who deeply loved me could fill that space. I needed to be patient. Easier said than done, I know. Yes, I had every right to be sad. I am asking each of us in a situation like this to shake ourselves off and wake up to the fact that there are many reasons to be joyful. This pain will go away. This pain is an opportunity to know yourself better. And you began to accept that you have everything you need.

3. Being seen for who I truly am has become so important. It was easier to hide and stay quiet about what was truly important to me because I thought I would be ostracized and criticized for my beliefs. It made me sick because I was hiding from those who I loved and those who loved me. Another person's beliefs in who I am was limiting me. They were not suffering; I was. I started to realize that this was no longer sustainable. The truth will set you free, right? I saw that I had nothing to lose by being totally seen. So, I found a way to speak to the person who mattered the most to me to know me on a deeper level. I don't want to say to my surprise, but, yes, to my surprise, she was happy to know me on this more profound level. I was not used to someone accepting me completely. It was refreshing. I am grateful, and I know how lucky I am.

4. Terrible circumstances happen; that is a part of life. This is why we don't ask "why". As a practicing Buddhist, we don't ask. You should read the Buddhist parable about the farmer and the son. Consider, possibly, these incidents occur to help someone else in your life, not necessarily you directly. A friend recently lost his wife of thirty-five years of marriage to cancer. The loss devasted my friend; he said that he had never experienced such pain in his life before. I was surprised by his statement. His statement made me think about my own life when I did experience such debilitating pain. I was able to counsel him because I had experienced such before, which is why I was able to travel this journey with him through his pain. Sometimes, in our lives, it is difficult to make sense of why that event was necessary in your life. It could be that it happened so that you could evolve enough to help someone else who needed you.

5. Everything would be OK. (Pause) In time. Knowing in your heart that you have everything you need is a huge paradigm shift. If you can make this shift in your thinking, you have more chance of not letting life get you down. How do you know everything will be OK? You don't, right? But, honestly, you do know that everything will be OK. Take time to look at the totality of your life, and you will see each time you've stopped focusing on your pain, something unexpected happened. It is also incumbent on you to remain hopeful, optimistic, and faithful that life again will show up as life has for you in the past.

Consider these five truths as spiritual pieces to build a life of freedom and peace.